Chris Benoit, who killed his wife and son and committed suicide, a sad story. Especially since Wrestling Entertainment's assertion that the boy had a form of mental retardation called Fragile X syndrome. While the rest of the TV pundits were railing on about wrestling and steroid use, my wife and I had a very different reaction as to how this could happen. Namely, as parents of a disabled child, we get it. And the photo I chose to add here, is a look I understand deeply.
It's not entirely unknown that some parents with children suffering from Fragile X, will give their children steroids (HGH) to overcome some of the physical traits of the disease, like shortness. Until they check the boy's DNA, and the wrestler's blood, we just don't know. But if the blood is negative, and Fragile X is positive, it explains a lot of things, and opens a rational, less hysterical possibility.
Parents are under stress by the mere fact that they have a disabled child. I don't think the world of "normal" parents has the faintest clue as to the level of stress this can cause. The things that parents take for granted, like babysitting, finances, school, insurance, taking your child in public, watching them interact with other children, are very different for us. If you think your insurance is a problem, just guess how bad it is for autism or Fragile X. It's instant denial of literally everything.
When you stack all these things on top of each other, our lives are extremely hard! Words can't express the pressure. Or the pain. It takes a serious emotional toll. It takes a serious financial toll. The divorce rate for parents with autistic children is 85%! I'm not shocked. I understand it. It takes considerable effort to stay together. Everyone has a breaking point.
So consider this possible scenario, I admit it's speculation. If the Benoit parents were arguing over the boy, like maybe one in denial, or treatment not being an "instant" success, whatever, things may have gotten out of control. Dad unintentionally kills the mom from too much rage. Sometimes people snap (which my wife and I have no problem imagining). Steroid use would only make this more likely.
Now he's screwed. He's going to jail, maybe for life. What's he going to do? His son, who will take care of him? The state? Not a chance! Ever been to a mental institution? Seen a movie about about one? Everyone doesn't have a perfect extended family. Maybe they don't get it either. Or maybe you don't want them to go through what you're going through. What will his son go through when he realizes that his mother is dead, and his father is going away forever? What will the rest of his boy's life be like? Doesn't look happy, does it? Benoit took all night to think about it. My wife and I don't even want to think of what will happen to our son when we are gone. Nothing is more terrifying to us, honestly. So he makes a choice, that unfortunately is very common in autism, murder/suicide.
I know it's hard to understand, and I'm not condoning it in any way. I'm just saying I can see the path that leads there. The number one cause of death for autistic children is murder/suicide by a parent. It's a fact. I'm not remotely happy about the statistics regarding parents, autism and disabled children in general. They're all bad stats. I'm simply trying to explain how it can happen. It's completely plausible that this is a horrible tragedy, that has as much to do with disabilities as well as steroids. The impact and weight is easily explained by the very nature of the challenges that parents of disabled children face.
When I see the TV pundits banging the steroids drum, it makes sense to them. Drugs are such an easy out, a short path to explain it. It's easy for everyone in their living rooms to understand. Hey, "the doctor did it" or "that's the problem with pro wrestling." I can't say for certain. But here's what I see and know.
What the general public doesn't understand, or appreciate, is the world of the parents of a disabled child. How the world treats the children and the parents, every day, makes the path to tragedy a short one. There's a real possibility that the untold stories of these families have finally broken through to the national news. Only they still don't see it. And that's another tragedy.
-- Cole Joplin
